Monday, February 25, 2013

For Quvenzhane': A response to the Onion

Hello.
I cannot rightly speak to the depths of my anger concerning your now-removed tweet concerning Quvenzhané Wallis. However, let me say that calling a 9 year old girl a "c*nt" is beyond disgusting. This will go down in history as a bad choice of words, perhaps, but I want to point out the long and tortured history of women, particularly women of color, and more specifically African-American women with the subset of children. And, this time-- a baby.

Quvenzhané Wallis is her beautiful name. Say it, and don't stutter. She is nobody's c*nt, and if folk were thinking it, they wisely swallowed it name-calling for righteousness sake.

I recently talked with a woman whose grandmother shared with her a story from chattel enslavement in this country. She told me very matter-of-factly how White, male owners of the enslaved would often send word to for the enslaved women to "clean up" mere babies, aged 7, 8, and 9 years old, requesting for those innocent babies to be sent to have sex with these men. Babies.

It may appear that it was just simple name-calling; however, oppressed people learned a long time ago that the "sticks and stones" myth is a lie! C*nt and other words have deeply racialized and misogynistic meaning, and the author of that tweet entered into a cosmic and historic struggle trying to get a chuckle.

Ignorance is not bliss! Get it together. Until your writers get some good anti-racism and anti-oppression training, I would stay away from some stories--satire or not. When this person called her a c*nt, the person called many women one. You called my mama one. You called me one, then called my daughter one, and if I were I fighting woman, I'd take my earrings off and roll up my sleeves right now.

Yep, it's personal--but rampant individualism doesn't understand collective community and connection.

Parenthetically, I am available to provide such training and can direct you immediately to some great resources.

Very soberly, and with much intention,
Kelle
The Rev. Kelle J. Brown

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Longing...

A quick listen to what I am feeling, and you may think I am sad, depressed, dejected about my own singleness.  

Eh. Maybe.  

However, those who sit for a while with me and listen discover it is more than a personal concern.  Beyond and including my own needs, I am concerned with a subject that so many people call, and text, and email, and inbox me--loneliness and longing for relationship.  

It's deep.  And while some might be tempted to offer the usual quick pat phrases, I resist that urge.  Telling people that their longing and desire for relationship means they are not trusting God, or that their singleness is their own fault, is about shaming and blaming, and I don't deal in that kind of language. When people are hurting, it's a sad shame that they get blamed for their pain.  

Really, I think the prophets BeeGee told us.  Nobody gets too much love anymore.

I wonder all the time why I have so many gorgeous women friends who are single and desire to be in relationship.  They are dating, praying, waiting on the Lord, trying not to focus on relationship because they have been told a million times that love comes when we aren't looking.  They are journaling, getting advanced degrees, reading self help books from authors who need help themselves in their own relationships.  

And many days, I think about the many men and women I know who act "foolishly".  They are labeled a variety of not-so-nice things, when really they are simply lonely, and often act out of a longing to be accepted, appreciated, and loved.  Sure, there are other factors that affect unhealthy behaviors, but I really believe that the loss of authentic community and the promotion of individualism is destroying many of us.  It is destroying me.

However, there is hope.

If I am sad, am not sad for just myself. More rightly, I am sad because we are so close to the cure for that which ails us.  I believe we are but a few kisses away from the end to violent warfare; a few hugs away from transforming folks so desperate for love, their standards dissolve to nothing; a few hands held during hard times away from heaven.

Time is of the essence.  Let us admit that it is less about the way of the world, less about things are as they are meant to be, and more about the choices some of us habitually make to selfishly disregard the call to love.  

Every healthy relationship benefits all of us.  Really.  Choose love!

 Too Much Heaven


Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

Oh you and me girl
Got a lot of love in store
And it flows through you
And it flows through me
And I love you so much more

Then my life..I can see beyond forever
Ev'rything we are will never die
Loving's such a beautiful thing
Oh you make my world a summer day
Are you just a dream to fade away

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

You and me girl got a highway to the sky
We can turn away from the night and day
And the tears you had to cry
You're my life..
I can see a new tomorrow
Ev'rything we are will never die
Loving's such a beautiful thing
When you are to me, the light above
Made for all to see our precious love

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

Love is such a beautiful thing
You make my world a summer day
Are you just a dream to fade away

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as wide as a river and harder to cross

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb...

-The BeeGees

Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Call to Pray

Have you ever been awakened by prayers?  I don't mean that I set my clock because I pray every day at a certain time, which I do.  I mean I was awakened by the hands and fingers of those prayers, shaken as if by a mighty force. These  were not my own, necessarily. They seemed more like a blended symphony of voices.  Though I was still in a daze, and my heart raced as it does from the 2 a.m. phone calls I fear are emergencies, I attended to the words I hear as I would my own child--lovingly and with honor.
This morning, the tears and sorrow flooded my awareness, even while I slept.  I felt a sadness that wasn't my own; I wanted to cry, though I have no reason for tears.  Deep frustration overcame me.  It was as if each worry was a sharp and heavy stone and they were heaped on my backI felt the urge to beat my chest for justice's sake, to turn someone's mourning into dancing, to kiss away the tears.  
That's a lot to deal with upon waking.
I knew I would be praying in worship later, but I had to get the words outI went on Facebook and wrote this prayer to release a bit of healing energy to the world, hoping those who needed it would pray with me. 
O God, welcome our souls to sink into the vastness of your gracious ocean. Let us find peace in speaking our heart's desire for healing. Let us pray for all people who are lonely, anxious, depressed, and full of longing. Let us pray for those hearts that are broken, for those who mourn, for those who smile to keep from crying, for people who have been hurt so long they become viciously cruel to anyone who might approach them. Let us pray for those full of joy, that they might appreciate their cheerful season, and let us pray that challenging circumstances do not destroy that joy. Let us hope for the best, and dare to focus on others with compassionate eyes. O God of the weary, God of the strong, this we pray. Amen. 
Light.  Love. Healing for us all. Blessings.