The Veil of Choice

Thought for the day:

Freedom is a struggle to maintain. Every now and then, the familiarity of bondage calls to me--and honestly, I respond, because it is reflexive. But then comes choice. Right there is a tangible place that I can touch, and I choose freedom. As I reflect, liberation and bondage aren't truly that far apart, but choice is the veil between.

That veil between makes all the difference. It acknowledges shadows but looks for light. My choicefulness is what makes me me, and today I will trust my decisions. Fear is an option, but I will choose to operate from a grounded place of love.

Reconciling action: I will not assume that my decisions are flawed. I will not spend a lifetime discerning what the alternative could have generated. I will go forward, breaking the conditioning that bondage creates, and replacing it with the purity of hope and everyday life. I will not be afraid to live, to fail, or to succeed.

Thought for the day:

It is such a curious thing. I am fascinated by the time I spend being about the trivial pursuits of life. As I get older and better, I tire of all these things--these fruitless, "keeping-up-with-the-Joneses" endeavors-- hanging off of me, jingling like keys to locks that have long been destroyed from doors that don't exist anymore. In confession, I admit I still have them, and I hold onto them like one day I am going to find those doors. Even if it were possible, I can't even imagine what I believe will be on the other side of those doors.

Today, I am reconciled to the fact there is no perfect job, no perfect relationship, no set way to be faithful to God, and no perfect way to live. I realize that at this moment, I have invested much of my life trying to look like, sound like, be like the image others created or that I believed they wanted. Now, I will invest in what is eternal--treating people well; working toward peace and justice; loving myself for who I am, for how I look, in all my complexity; and letting the Spirit of God use me for the benefit of the world.

Reconciling Action: I will not do things just to be a part of the club of conformity. I will not say things because they make me seem smart or faultless or pious or attractive, and I will understand this life is not about continuously flying above circumstances. I will live through what comes my way with as much courage as I can muster, even if I look foolish. I will enjoy when things go well, all the while realizing that I cannot let privilege dilute my strength. I must prepare for the times to come that may be full of sorrow. I will seek authenticity and healing in all that I do. O God, have the keys.

Thought for the day...

Relationships are like archaeology sometimes. You think of the old things you used to do, read old cards with old promises of loyalty and affection. Being single makes you want to consider resurrecting those things, to pump air into them and see if they will live. Sometimes this is possible, but a professor once told me that there is a difference between a resurrection and reanimating a corpse.

Reconciling Action: I will resist believing that what is best for me lies behind me. I will stop busying myself with "what ifs"--which only breeds resentment and insanity--and believe that what can be is within my reach. O God, I open my heart to you.